All our qualities, beliefs, personality, characteristics, all these combine to form our real identity. Of course, looks and expressions also help to determine our identity but they are only at the surface level. According to psychology, personal identity is that which describes the unique aspects of any human being, making a person unique. Identity here does not mean a person either black or white, ugly or beautiful, long nose or flat, glamor of clothes, etc. 

Identity is actually strongly associated with self-esteem and personality. The identity that cannot be changed by changing clothes, applying bright colors, or even changing the face/body by plastic surgery that is the own entity of each your and my and that is our true identity. 

By identity we usually mean, who is in what profession, rich or poor, that is what we can see from the outside, consider it as his identity. Is that so? Then people wearing suit boots, living a luxurious life would not scrump or engage in illegal activities. 

The behaviors, the activities that we get acquainted with a person most of the time are actually an attempt to present ourselves to him in a conscious way. It’s just like the tip of an iceberg that we see on the surface of the water and we can’t imagine how many portions there are under the water. That is why we make mistakes in identifying people. 

Identity of identity card:- 

We have a tradition of using special identity cards in different fields like every citizen of the country should have citizenship card. All of these identity card identify us in which country we live in, our profession or what we look like. These never reveal your inner humanity. Identity Card can’t identify a person who is a thief, cheater, murderer, genius or kind hearted in any way. Duplicate copies can be obtained if all these identity card are lost or misplaced. But no second alternative to the identification of man’s own being can be made. Each of us has a uniqueness and that is completely internal, so there must be atleast a minimum difference in the way each person thinks, reacts, and behaves.

 

Identity is formed in two ways, firstly, your own identity, that is, what you are in your own eyes. And the second is, what you are in the eyes of others, i.e your identity in the eyes of others. The first is that our identity is actually our self-image, that is, what we think of ourselves from the inside, what is our true identity in the mirror of our mind. The higher the Inner Identity, the more self-image you have, the stronger you will be able to deal with the adversity and challenges of life. The better your self-image, the better you can do function in life, you can perform.

Inner Identity is created by what you say to yourself, what you think of yourself, that is, strong or weak, confident or lack of confidence. 

A human being is known in the eyes of others as a lion but self-esteem is too low, then if he gets into a little trouble he will roll himself up like a rat, he will be constricted in fear. The way we behave, the action we take, is created our identity in the eyes of others. Now suppose you didn’t grow yourself, didn’t upgrade yourself, didn’t make yourself internally strong, then no matter how much you shows up yourself wisely in front of a person, spending some time with you he will reveal your true identity. 

Others may not always value you but you are valuable enough. Your self-identity will awaken the recognition of your value. If you accept yourself, feel proud of your special qualities, you can correct your imperfections yourself. Be aware that none of us are perfect.

 

Some questions you can ask yourself to know your own identity and bring about its unprecedented changes. 

What are my values?  

What makes me happier?  

What are my own feelings?  

Am I always busy trying to please others? 

What is my own strength? 

What is my weakness?

Which ones do I enjoy the most?  

What is my standards? Do I live up to my standards?  

Do I pay more attention to the words of others?  

Am I sympathetic or selfish?

How much do I believe in my honesty?  

Which ones do I enjoy?

                                                                                     

Find out the answers to these very important questions in your mind. Try to fix the questions that will be answered negatively, improve yourself in those areas. Plan to build up the strengths of your weaknesses so that your identity will change dramatically. Never compromise with your values. Give importance to your own happiness and feelings. If you are not happy in your mind, if you do not have good feelings, it is useless to try to make others happy or feel goodness. 

Remember that people can deceive the whole world, but not just one person and it is himself. So make your own identity, make your own value so that you never have to regret for yourself.

Personality is an important part of identity. The use of parental perceptions and behavior ( love, ignorance, criticism, punishment, rewards etc.) towards a child from an early age have a profound effect on child’s personality. Even his friends, lover one or society play an important role in shaping the personality. That is why parents should pay close attention to these from an early stage. 

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Also, whom and what kind of people you associate with, they inspire your identity from the outside and even from the inside. If you associate with negative people your mind will gradually fill with negativity and will pull you down. If your partner is honest and positive, your identity is bound to change gradually because of your thinking process will changing. So I would suggest to choose the company with utmost importance, keep yourself away from the company of people with negative thoughts.