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  It is said “Charity begins at home” 

This is a very important sentence we have heard since childhood. But do we really know the real importance of it!  Or though we know we don’t apply it in real life! Almost all of us perform our duties responsibly.  The earning members of the family earn money by working hard every day, the children study at home, one member of the family cooks food, and someone does other household chores. These have become a routine in our normal daily life. This is followed by occasional outings for fun, going to the park, eating out at restaurants, or attending various events, there is shopping as much as possible. After all, why is there so much unrest and so much relationship conflict at home?  Why are thousands of families breaking up even after a long family life? Though the number is very low as a percentage because most of the family person have accepted the turmoil in their worldly life as a part of their survival. In other words, they are living with this deep belief and hope that they will spend the rest of life with depending on the weed pile. 

If you really want to make your home environment healthier, to make your relationship sweeter, then you need to be prepared to take on some responsibilities, small responsibilities. 

You see, the bitterness in both family and relationships starts from very small incidents.  Gradually it gets to a point where they can’t stand each other, they get angry when they see each other. Its effects are reflected in all aspects of life, career, worldly life, and socially, severely disrupting our mindset. Many parents, falling into this trap forget important responsibilities to their wards. 

Think deeply about how much trauma can be inflicted on your children when a husband and wife quarrel at home or when there is unrest in the family. The tender heart of the child gradually breaks down, and as the child grows, he/she is attracted to the thrill of the outside world to escape the turmoil of the family. They become addicted to drugs in order to get rid of those traumatic events. They try to spend more time outside the home environment by chatting or with the help of electronics-gadgets. 

                                                                                 

Thinking of self as ‘omniscient’: ‘I am the wisest of all and I understand everything’ is a very effective virus. This, of course, makes the basic structure of any family or relationship sick. People who have this kind of mentality do not want to be noticed by others so that other members of the family feel insequred. Although they endured everything at first, then got his back against the wall, they became defendants and the unrest in the family started, and the bitterness of the relationship increased.

Forcing a decision on others: Each of us is bound to have different choices, tastes, and moods and these are our unique identities, making different one from the other. Most people understand its importance and ignore it. We try to force our choice on others. What I like may not be liked by others, be it food, clothing, or conversation. But we continue to try to force our love on others. For example, if you like to eat bread and vegetables, you try to force feed your favorite food to your child. He may not like this food. Have you ever thought about or seen it? 

Not giving importance to others: Everyone has certain importance about family or in a relationship. You earn more, you work harder or you contribute more, it doesn’t mean you ignore the rest and try to keep everyone down. Doing so will cause others to underestimate themselves, get hurt, and gradually move away from you. Pets can be tied up by force, but people can never be tied up by force. One day or another the fire of his mind will burn, and the gunpowder will explode, just waiting for the time. 

To criticize: The importance of discussion and vilification in building a person properly is immeasurable, it cannot be denied in any way. But it is also good and constructive as long as you do it in the right person and in the right place. Can it ever be constructive if you criticize your relative, wife, children, husband, or parents in front of an outsider? You can’t imagine how much hurt your loved ones this kind of your behavior. Outsiders will only give you military comfort and make your mind more envenomed. As soon as you move away from them, they will rejoice in it, taking unfair advantage of your weakness. You can’t respect your loved ones for any reason but you have no right to insult them. 

                                                                                   

                                                    

Everybody, from the educated to the uneducated, knows that if they spit upwards, it will fall on them, but what a wonder educated people do repeat that mistake again and again. A good number of people think that it is their achievement to criticize and slander others and continue to do it as planned. All these people deeply believe that ‘I can’t go up unless I can bring others down’. They have programmed their minds in this way so it doesn’t matter who is nearer or who is an outsider. 

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Giving importance to everyone in his own position:- Give a little importance to everyone, from the youngest to the oldest family member, or to the relationship, try to listen to everyone seriously, try to know the shortcomings, then everyone will value and love you too. Never pretend to listen or pretend to love. This negative attitude of yours quickly spreads in the minds of the people in front of you. Many things happen or will happen that you may not like, but without showing a negative reaction to all those events, try to get into it seriously and solve it in a simple way. You have to take this responsibility, you have to talk to them, whatever your role in the family or whatever the relationship is. 

Keep the fleet of critiques within certain boundaries:- Discuss, criticize, but never exclude the person you are talking about. If you have a really honest intention, then why are you avoiding the people you are criticizing? Never take criticism about someone in your family or loved one in front of outsiders, that makes more people laugh. It becomes like scattering dirt on oneself. It is a sign of your stupidity. It increases your distance from your loved ones. It disrupts the happiness and peace of the family. 

Talk to the person first you are complaining about. Sometimes it may seem that he is not paying attention to what you are saying, but he is already thinking about it. Discuss several more times, discuss with the rest of the family, and find a way to solve the problem together. You are unhappy with the behavior of the person in the family, who has hurt you, he loves you also. This habit of condemning you will drive him away from you. In any danger, in bad times – in good times, outsiders are ready to take the discussion by storm. Why would you increase the danger more to your family and loved ones by joining their team? During these times you should stand by them more and give them moral support. If you join a group of critics to save your own back, who will that person go to? Stay by side in difficult times without any negative thoughts, unselfishly, one day or another you will get a great reward. Bigger than that, the relationship will be sweet, and happiness and peace will return to the family. 

                                                                                   

Try to accept people as they are:- It is one of the greatest virtues of man. Some people like to eat, some people like to sleep a little more, and some people like to wear fancy clothes and makeup. Openly consider these as one of their qualities. Don’t try to force your choice of dress, choice of food or your decision on others. This increases the stubbornness of the person on the opposite side. It is better to love him, point out the good aspects of your choice that are well understood and he will surely understand the importance. Neither of us is 100% perfect nor are you. So if someone repeatedly scolds you for your mistake, you will definitely not feel good, you will also feel annoyed. Better yet, accept the small mistakes, and you will see the beautiful effect of this on your family, and relationships.

Today, on this valentine’s day, my writing will show a new direction in your life. Not a special day for love, make life special. Wherever you are, the people you have been with for a long time, the people you dream of, fill them with love, and that light will spread all around. Relationships bonding and family bonding can never be tied with a rope, this bond of love, and mind, make it strong, live a wonderful life without worries.